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Richie Tozier ([personal profile] trashmouths) wrote2017-10-15 06:55 pm

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VOICE ยป TEXT ยป VIDEO ยป LETTERS
"Got any good chucks?" CODE BY TESSISAMESS
clussy: ษชแด„แดษด ส™ส ษชแด„แดษดs๊œฐแดส€ส™ษชแด›แด„สœแด‡s (แด›แดœแดส™สŸส€) (๐š‘๐š–๐š–๐š–)

[personal profile] clussy 2018-10-02 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
(That is the bad part. Richie is right. Eddie certainly wasn't about to say that what they did was okay, because it wasn't. They weren't Bowers and his gang. They never got off on hurting animals and beating up small kids. Murder was wrong, even if it was out of their control, and Eddie knows it.

Just hearing it said from Richie sucked. It sucked a whole lot. That and Eddie had one hell of a fear of eternal damnation. He'd been nursing on that concept for well over a year now, even before they fought Pennywise, but oh boy was it sinking in irreversibly now.

He does at least pick his head up to look at Richie. There were two Losers who could effectively pry Eddie out of himself and that would be Bill Denbrough and Richie Tozier. His head hangs there, and the wails stop, but the tears keep going.

Eddie shrugs slowly, looking down.)


I've always known I was probably gonna like, roast up in Hell, you know? But this basically secured a one-way ticket to the big man's torture chamber.

(Might as well admit it, right? Eddie isn't so sure you could scrub the stain of murder out of your soul through repenting. And his soul was already pretty messed up.)

I guess.

(Eddie doesn't sound so sure, and he's still crying, but at least he's not so hysterical anymore. He rubs at his face, his head already throbbing from crying so much.

Eddie didn't know if a certain Loser could fix this. Hell, he wasn't even sure what Bill would say or do. None of the Losers were for murder. Except maybe if they accidentally killed Bowers, but that was different. That would be self-defense.)


I'm sorry. (One can practically see Eddie pulling himself together. He shifts up to his knees and rubs his hands at his face.) Don't mean to be such a crybaby.

(He mutters the word 'crybaby' like it's a swear word. He grabs hold of the zipper on his fanny pack, the black one that had 'What Are We Going to Do With All This FUTURE' scrawled in print over the front. He digs his hand in and pulls out his Xanax. He knocks out a pill and puts the bottle away. He tucks the pill into his mouth and chews it slowly, knowing it works a little faster that way.)

You're right. All we really can do is repent. Maybe I can't do shit all to change God's mind, but I don't know if I care anymore. (He does, but he's wondering if maybe he shouldn't focus more on the Here and Now.) I think all I really want is for those people to know we never really wanted to hurt them.
clussy: ษชแด„แดษด ส™ส ษชแด„แดษดs๊œฐแดส€ส™ษชแด›แด„สœแด‡s (แด›แดœแดส™สŸส€) (๐š’'๐š•๐š• ๐š”๐šŽ๐šŽ๐š™ ๐šข๐š˜๐šž ๐šœ๐šŠ๐š๐šŽ)

[personal profile] clussy 2018-10-08 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
(The fact that Richie Tozier was sitting completely still and being quiet spoke volumes. Volumes that were loud enough to help begin to water down all of that panic screaming in Eddie's head. It makes Eddie begin to steady out, even without the Xanax kicking in. He stares back at Richie, taking in a few slow, deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Your lungs work just fine, Eds. It's a ghost of Richie's voice, working into one ear and out the other, even with the real Richie right in front of him.

He's gonna be okay. They both will be. Like Richie had said, they had been through worse before. Now they just had to get over feeling like this.

Eddie doesn't really know why he doesn't expect the hug. In retrospect, it's obvious that Richie would hug him after a bad breakdown like that. Any of the Losers would. But after everything from before, Eddie sometimes still didn't really expect his best friend to do this kind of thing anymore.

So when it happens, Eddie makes a keen noise of surprise, his body tensing up for all of a split second. But he's in desperate need of comfort, and Richie was the kinda medicine that they just didn't bottle up. His arms automatically lock around Richie and he's hugging back just as tightly. It's been a long, long time since Richie held onto him like this and Eddie's only tense through it for about a second before he just lets it happen.

His body sinks into it and he rests his face against Richie's shoulder. Thank God, thank God, I don't deserve this but thank you God-

Then, just as unexpected as the hug was, the statement Richie says after? It's so shocking to Eddie that he doesn't respond right away. But then he starts shaking, and at first it'd be pretty easy to figure the kid was having another break down, but then the giggling starts pouring out of him until he's full on cracking up against Richie.)


Jesus fuck, Richie! (He picks his head up and leans back just enough to look at his best friend, flushed in the face from crying and laughing so hard. Richie said a whole lot of stupid shit on a regular basis, but Eddie was always his number one supporter and he really did think this kid was gonna make it big one day. How could he fucking not with lines like that? Eddie shouldn't even be laughing so hard, but there he was, getting a cramp in his side because he couldn't stop. His face drops back against Richie's shoulder and affection crackled throughout his entire chest. Jesus, he really did love this kid.)

Fuck you, I'm trying to despair here in peace and you just-. Oh my God! (Make it completely better, is what he's trying to say.

It wasn't perfect, but Eddie felt like some of that heavy weight had already been chipped away from him.

Yeah, they definitely would be okay.)